Hey guys, I have decided to write every day for the month of November, and in considering where to do that I’ve decided to do it write here on the blog. And the best way to do that is to start that kind of commitment early – close to when you make the commitment, and build up momentum. And I started to answer a friend’s question on Facebook, found myself writing more than a paragraph, and decided to make it a post! So here we go.
I’ve just gone 14 days successfully without eating dessert or any mostly-sugary food. I was slightly tempted for the first time this morning when making cinnamon rolls for my guys (for those who might be new, that is my husband and my four boys age 7, 5, 3, and 1) but did not have any. Similar to in a previous post, I want to take a moment to consider what is working in order to share it, and especially to be able to repeat it.
First of all, I feel ‘behind’ on my weight loss, and that is contributing to my motivation. I’m working on losing the baby weight from my fourth and final son who is now (cue the counting on the fingers because he is more than a yr old) … 15 months old. Last winter I lost the first 20 lbs pretty easily, which usually happens for me, leaving 30 left. Then I struggled through Feb-Mar to really commit. I would make diet rules and then break them or bend them. Then I’d get discouraged at my lack of progress, realize I needed to try harder and actually work at it and commit in order to get results, and in Apr-July I lost another 15. Eventually I eased up and got distracted by school starting, change of schedule, feeling victorious, etc. So in Sept I realized I had stopped making progress, but was enjoying exploring some other areas of personal development, dreaming about starting an additional website, and a consulting business, writing a book, speaking someday.
I knew in the back of my mind that I wasn’t happy with my body, didn’t feel back to myself yet, was not back to a healthy weight yet, and then a few things converged to throw the level in my brain and yank my back into my weight loss groove. This is usually the pattern for me, a cycle of commitment and working up to it, and a combination of factors to flip the switch into putting in the work, following the rules, and successfully losing weight.
A few weeks ago I got inspired to create a few home videos (something I’ve never done before) with the goal being to practice creating content that would help bloggers with their email marketing (long story). Anyway, I’ve always wanted to be a speaker someday, and the experience resonated with me deeply. I’ve recently been learning more about YouTube and video. This experience resonated with me deeply that I could do this now, from home, while my baby is sleeping. As I figure out the message I want to share, I can use video in addition to writing!
This shouldn’t really have been news, YouTube has been around awhile. But sometimes it takes awhile to hit you that you can do a certain thing you see others doing.
Anyway, the point is that I watched the videos I had recorded, and was struck by two strong feelings: 1) excitement that I had found an important key to how to move toward the future I wanted, and 2) confirmation that I wasn’t proud of my appearance, and that I need to finish losing the weight to feel confident, to be who I want to be, and most importantly to be authentic in my message. I want to help women become vibrant, beautiful, and fulfilled, to be successful and healthy in their lives in whatever that should look like for them. And I can’t do that without modeling prioritizing that in my own life, and for me right now that means losing 15 more lbs.
I found similar but different motivation after my other boys were born, it was more for me and my husband, and to keep up with my boys – and all of those were factors too, but it is harder this time. With so many boys in the house and so much going on, I need more motivation/willpower etc to resist what I serve, rather than changing what we all eat for a season which has been more practical in the past.
So for me the added motivation of wanting to find a place of wholeness from which I can help other women, is what I needed to tip in the scale. And this is why a recent post was titled, ‘You are the reason I’m losing weight‘.
You are the reason I didn’t eat a cinnamon roll this morning.
And I’m grateful to you for it, and I can’t wait to get farther along this journey and share more with you about what I’ve learned from psychology and science (through books/experience) that can help you with weight loss, or whatever goal/challenge is in front of you, especially the one holding you back from where you’re meant to go in your life.
In that moment, when I give in to eat something sweet (not candy, usually a brownie, doughnut or cinnamon roll) it’s because I’m failing in some way to really feel connected to my larger purpose, to feel that something matters more than that bit of gratification right now. It’s easy to rationalize that it’s just one thing, and that I deserve it etc, or it doesn’t matter. And when I’m feeling discouraged, lonely or stressed that has been when I’ve been most vulnerable in the past. My key to success write now and when I’ve had successful stretches has been my ability to really connect to something that matters, that really matters to me, that I really care about, enough to outweigh that desire to have a treat myself right now, or to salve that emotion in the moment.
I’m on a journey to tap into my purpose beyond that of wife, mom, daughter and friend. I want to be a mentor, coach, friend, a source of wisdom and inspiration for other women – tapping into that emotion (combined with a similar value of being healthy for my family long-term), that dream is what gives me the extra ummph I need to resist in the moment day after day. That takes some focus, and focus is what I’m feeling the need to focus on in this season.
My final thought on this is that to sum it up, is that I know deep down that losing the baby weight is the key, the doorway, to everything else I want to pursue in my life. I tried to go around the mountain a bit, and then realized I have to face it in order to move on to the rest of my life. My goals and dreams for faith, family, recreation, work, finance, ministry, career – they all hinge in some way on me losing the weight, being healthier, and being me again.
My future is why I need to lose weight, you are why I’m doing it now.
I know that’s a lot about me, and I can’t wait to talk more about you, so thanks for listening to my stories (there may be a bit more about me as I write daily in Nov), but I hope understanding where I am coming from gives you some great context for some of the content I share in the future.
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- How to Find Your Creative Outlet (and why you need to) - October 25, 2017